Choosing a school

As bereaved parents we often don't realise we are up against a new challenge until we are in it, so the support of schools in particular around transitions and them being able to proactively support with issues that may come up, is really important.

Jen, Parent & Carer Advisory Forum member


As children settle into their new school year, thoughts will naturally move to think about the next stage and education open days begin. For bereaved families this can bring about new questions and challenges. When considering a new setting for a child or young person it’s important to feel confident that the setting can support with not only education, but the bereavement needs of a child or young person. This can mean many different things to different families.

When choosing a school during a bereavement, I found it helpful to look beyond academic results and focus on the atmosphere, the warmth of the staff, the way they talked showing a genuine interest, and how they offered targeted support through the difficult times.

Paula, Parent & Carer Advisory Forum member


Recently we’ve heard from our parent & carer forum that this choice can feel overwhelming, so alongside them we’ve put together some key points to think through when choosing a new setting:

  • Be open in your conversations with staff at the setting and share as much as you are comfortable with. You may like to ask how the setting will share this information with the wider staff team. 

  • You may want to share particular triggers, topics or difficult times of the year to find out how they would plan to support this.

  • Ask the setting what pastoral support they have in place for children & young people who’ve been bereaved.

  • Ask the setting about what flexibility they can offer to your child’s learning or school day. This may involve exam support.

  • Ask the setting what systems they might have in place for a child to communicate with them when they are struggling emotionally throughout the day.

  • Ask the school what system they have in place for parents to communicate any concerns or worries.

  • If your child has previously had a bereavement plan take this with you to use as an example of the support they may need.
    (Not sure what a bereavement plan is? Find out more on our Ask Me: Education page).

  • Ask the setting if staff have received bereavement training.
    (We deliver multiple training courses for professionals and those specifically for the education sector can be found here). 

You may choose a school which seems right for your child or young person, but they may not have had experience of supporting bereaved students before, this can be a great time to signpost them to resources and training that can help them to better support your child. A bereavement plan is a great document to encourage a school to listen to your child and find out what they really need.

At Child Bereavement UK we support education professionals through our On-Demand Services and our education and training packages.

A safe school doesn't remove the grief, but it gives children the space to grow around it. And sometimes, that gentle stability is exactly what they and the rest of the family need.

Paula, Parent & Carer Advisory Forum member.