CLEVELAND, September 11, 2026 -- By Elissa Berman, MA.Ed., LPCC-S, Manager of Bereavement Services, Lifebanc

There are some days that belong to all of us and September 11th is one of those days.

Even if we did not know anyone who died that day, most of us remember where we were, who we were with, what we were doing, and how it felt to watch something unimaginable unfold. We carry memories of that day not only because of what happened, but because of how deeply it touched us as individuals, as families, and as a nation.

For those who have experienced the sudden loss of someone they love, September 11th may carry an even deeper meaning.

For those who have experienced the sudden or traumatic death of someone we love, days of collective remembrance can carry another layer of meaning. When our communities pause to remember lives lost, our own losses may unexpectedly rise to the surface. A public acknowledgment of grief can open the door to private grief.

You may find yourself thinking about your loved one. You may remember the moment you learned they died. You may feel their absence in a way you didn't expect. You may feel sadness, anger, anxiety, gratitude—or nothing at all. Sometimes, the hardest part is not knowing why a particular day feels harder than yesterday.

This is one of the ways grief works. We do not experience it only when we consciously choose to think about our loved ones. Grief can be activated by anniversaries, news stories, photographs, ceremonies, names being read aloud, moments of silence, or simply watching other people remember. When the world around us is collectively focused on loss, it can remind us of the person we are missing and of the circumstances surrounding their death.

If September 11th brings your grief closer to the surface, it does not mean you are going backward. It does not mean you haven't healed. It means that someone you love mattered—and still matters.

Some tools to manage the day may include:

• Watching/listening less. You don't have to take in every story, image, or ceremony. It is okay to turn off the television or step away from social media.
• Creating your own moment of remembrance. Light a candle. Look at a photograph. Listen to a song. Say your loved one's name. Sit quietly and remember them in your own way.
• Reaching toward someone. Tell a friend or family member, “Today is a hard day for me.” You don't have to explain anything more.
• Taking care of your body. Go outside. Take a walk. Drink some water. Breathe deeply. Rest. Grief lives in our bodies as much as it lives in our hearts.
• Letting whatever comes, come. You don't have to make sense of your feelings or decide whether you should be feeling them.
• Giving yourself permission to experience something other than grief. You can laugh, work, enjoy your family, or have an ordinary moment on a day of extraordinary loss. Joy does not diminish love.

September 11th reminds us that grief can be both deeply personal and profoundly collective. Your grief does not need to be explained. Sometimes it simply needs to be acknowledged, given some space, and held with compassion.

Because when the world remembers, we remember too.